The Baggy Pants Crusade

Several cities across the country are discussing plans to ban baggy pants. Apparently, some people find baggy pants offensive, so offensive that those that wear them should be considered criminals. It seems that for most it's more about the exposed underwear underneath the baggy pants than the baggy pants itself. The contention is that the fashion is indecent, but this is one of the most ridiculous, absurd, and unenforceable laws in recent memory.

Aside from defining exactly what is considered "baggy," there are several practical reason why this is a complete waste of time and tax-payer money. In addition to defining "baggy" the law would also have to define "underwear," or I could simply wear shorts or bathing suit bottoms under my baggy pants to skirt the law. What about topless joggers? I am regularly offended my men jogging with no shirts on, and even men who aren't jogging with no shirts on. I propose that all men should have to wear shirts in public. Then we would have to stop people who wear baggy clothes for work, like painters or basketball players. The law must be enforced equally.

Why stop at baggy pants? Lets ban long dark trench coats, ear muffs, bow ties, and those waist pouches. I find these fashions outdated, offensive and or weird, and I'm sure several other people do also. In fact, why don't we require everyone to wear blacks slacks and white collared shirts. Then we won't have to worry about spending our time and money on these very important fashion laws. I feel safer and less offended already.